Always the Almost

Miles Jacobson is a sixteen-year-old trans boy and classical pianist in Wisconsin, and he begins the new year with two resolutions. He wants to win back his ex-boyfriend Shane McIntyre, the star of the football team, and he wants to finally beat his smug arch-nemesis at the biggest classical piano competition in the Midwest, with regionals as the next step.

Neither goal looks easy. Shane broke up with Miles two weeks after Miles came out as trans and now stubbornly ignores him, even when the two literally collide. Miles's new piano teacher, who is a little terrifying, keeps telling him he plays as though he does not know who he is, and he has no idea what she means.

Then Eric Mendez arrives in town. He is a proudly queer cartoonist from Seattle who asks for Miles's pronouns, cares about art as much as Miles does, and makes his stomach flutter, which is the last thing Miles needs right now. When the two pretend to date in order to get into a couples-only Valentine's party, the act turns real with a kiss that was never part of the plan.

Miles cannot understand why Eric likes him, since he does not feel cool, confident or comfortable in his own skin, and he is not sure he is good enough at piano to earn his rivals' respect, especially now that he competes as himself. Always the Almost, a young adult romance, is the debut of Edward Underhill. It asks whether the person Miles has never felt enough for might be himself.