But Why?

Parents often get their hardest questions at the worst possible moment. Picture the bedtime routine: you are trying to get the children into pyjamas and teeth brushed, your mind has already switched off for the day, and then a stream of unrelated but weighty questions arrives out of nowhere. Why are people damaging the planet? Why are some clothes meant for only one gender? Why do people marry? Why do we have feelings at all? Why can't I look like everyone else? Why does anyone have to work?

This book, with a foreword by psychotherapist Anna Mathur, author of Mind Over Mother, is built on a broad range of research. Clemmie Telford draws on conversations with experts from her Honestly podcast, the experiences shared by more than 300 contributors to her blog Mother of All Lists, who offer candid first-hand accounts, and her own experience raising three children.

The book does not claim to have a final answer for every question. Instead, it offers a wide set of ideas to draw on, advice on approaching difficult topics thoughtfully, suggestions for where to find further information, and a practical reminder of the responses best avoided, particularly when a parent is exhausted or caught unprepared.

Telford describes the project as a period of intense questioning, in which she re-examined many of her assumptions. She hopes the book will prompt readers to reflect on their own views about subjects such as race, gender, sexuality, politics and religion, and to start honest conversations with themselves about them.