Girlfighting

Media of many kinds, from reality shows and daytime talk programs to soap operas, sitcoms and cartoons, keep showing girls and women who seem to enjoy rivalry and cruelty. Fairy tales have long relied on the cruel stepmother, the witch and the envious sister. Meanwhile, popular books and magazines have moved their attention from helping girls build independence and confidence toward the problem of how girls treat one another. Such a shift raises questions about what our culture thinks girlhood is, and about how much these images shape the way girls see themselves.

Psychologist and educator Lyn Mikel Brown examines how our culture encourages and reinforces this meanness among girls. She rejects the familiar saying that girls will be girls, along with the view that gossip, competition, cliques and backstabbing are simply a phase of development or a rite of passage. Brown argues instead that girls are taught to hold back strong emotions and are pressured to meet unrealistic standards, especially the demand to be popular, while navigating a world that still enforces narrow ideas about gender. Frustrated and angry, girls often, and usually without realizing it, direct their fears and anxieties at each other, because that feels safer than confronting how boys treat them, how the media portrays them, or how wider cultural attitudes sustain sexism.

Lyn Mikel Brown is an associate professor of education and women's, gender, and sexuality studies at Colby College, and she co-created the Hardy Girls Healthy Women program.