Imperfect

Dounya Awada, a devout Muslim woman from Las Vegas, Nevada, tells the story of her eating disorders, which began in her teenage years. She shares it in the hope of reaching other young people who are living with the same illness. The book is the fourth graphic novel in a series written by young people for their peers, and its subtitle is A Story of Body Image.

At 24, Dounya is healthy and thriving, but only a few years earlier she came close to starving. Her struggle started at age six, when she decided she had to be as flawless as her mother. She drove herself to excel at school and at home, and she needed to be the cutest, prettiest and smartest girl in any room. Any sign of imperfection set off meltdowns and tantrums she could not control. Her parents adored her but could not make sense of what was happening to her, and the constant effort to be perfect wore her out.

In her culture, food stands for love, so Dounya began eating to satisfy an emptiness she could not name. She reached more than 200 pounds by fifteen. Food was her only companion, while classmates mocked her and she felt completely isolated. Her illness then shifted, as dysmorphia often does, into intense exercise and dieting. Even after losing a great deal of weight, she still saw the heavier girl she had been. She fell into a cycle of bingeing and purging that brought her down to 73 pounds. Now she is studying clinical psychology and plans to open an eating and dysmorphia treatment center in Las Vegas for boys and girls facing the same struggle. Her hope is that her story will help even one reader see the value of being imperfect.