Being Real in the Reels World Has Cost her Relations

There was a girl called Kashika, who married Chandan in 2017. They both had only a one-month age difference, so their understanding and nature were, to an extent, a match.

The first time she conceived, within three months of marriage, she was diagnosed with typhoid. The expense of the hospital was burning in everyone's mind. There was a story she had lived, an experience with her in-laws after their ring ceremony programme. But, to her utter surprise, that was creating a clash in the family because the husband was listening to the wife, so the family members became insecure. Chandan was the only male child of the family, with a younger sister.

In 2019, Kashika lost her job as they were asking her to relocate to another state, which Chandan did not agree upon. So, she ended up leaving the job. Within six months, Chandan also lost his job, and after spending a two-to-three-month timeframe without a job, he understood that in order to earn a livelihood, he had to take up opportunities, even if they were coming from abroad.

Without speaking to Kashika, he took the stand that if any career opportunity came up, he would move abroad. Considering the situation and family dependency, Kashika could not add anything to this, so she was left with no choice but to agree. After reaching abroad, Chandan realized that if this had been the case before marriage, he would have been much happier, but he had a spouse who was living with his parents in India.

He took the flight for his new beginning abroad, and then Covid entered India. Kashika was living with the in-laws, and he was abroad. Then he realized he had left his other half away. It was a difficult journey for both of them, but due to family responsibilities, nobody could run away. They worked as a team, but destiny had some other plans.

Before going abroad, Kashika's parents told Chandan, "If you want, we can support you with money. You take Kashika along with you."

But Chandan said, "I will call her on my own. Maybe it will take some time."

Chandan stayed on his statement, and it took him around seven to eight months to arrange everything. Then he called her along. The separation tested the patience, trust, and faith of both. They had not lived separately for too long before. They had lived separately for a few weeks, but this time it was around seven to eight months.

How the journey of marriage changed both their lives. Nobody could live without the other, but when family responsibilities were there, they sacrificed their marital lives altogether.

Kashika went abroad and saw how Chandan was managing himself. She was utterly surprised that he was not at all taking care of himself. He was more inclined to earn money for his family, attuned by the approach of his father, but he had compromised his health, stay, and food enough by paying heed to earning more money.

Chandan was living the life of a bachelor on a sharing basis. A guy who had never shared anything was living in sharing abroad. When Covid came abroad, movement got restricted and the cook was not coming to cook the meal. Chandan called up Kashika and tried to understand how and what the process was to cook the meal. She shared the knowledge, and he picked it up. Daily, he was sending some pictures to her, saying, "I have cooked this meal today," while, in parallel, managing work from home.

After reaching abroad, she ensured that Chandan was taken care of extensively. She made him his favourite dishes, and they enjoyed them. At that point in time, Chandan got relieved that he did not have to cook any meal and could spend plenty of time with her, enjoy life, and cherish the new surroundings.

But destiny had other plans. When Kashika reached, his workload increased. He was giving more time to work rather than to her. In parallel, she was feeling lost in his presence. She was only finding his absence because he was attuned to his work responsibilities. This went on for a few months. Then Kashika said, "I am not here to work as a housewife. Let me find some job."

She appeared for an interview, but it went on hold for internal decisions.

In parallel, the family in India realized Kashika was abroad with her spouse and her birthday was coming along. Chandan spent INR 5-8K on her birthday abroad for the first time. She felt extremely happy for the first time. When he shared this moment with his family, they reacted like, "We have sent you to earn money, not to enjoy your life."

It hurt Kashika a lot because her marriage had been three and a half years old, and now her in-laws were reacting differently and showing their true colours. They were like, "Chandan is paying hefty rent, managing household bills and you. It's a dent coming to us. It's better to search for a job."

The situation worsened when her father-in-law intervened in personal matters, and she found out that Chandan was sharing everything with him. One day, she had a word with her father-in-law, and she heard some passing remarks from him. Then she shared the same with Chandan. He was more like balancing the situation between wife and father, more inclined to safeguard his father.

This situation took a difficult turn when she confronted Chandan and said, "That's what you do at every turn."

Later, his father spoke to her again, and she shared the same candidly with him too. But again, because of his interference, Chandan got angry with Kashika, stopped picking her calls, and started ignoring her. She said, "I will die."

Then he responded, "I am coming back from office."

After a few days, the situation worsened between the couple because her in-laws were playing the game. She decided to come back, and later, her father-in-law got a paralytic attack. They all blamed her for the mishap, saying she was responsible for everything happening around.

Before leaving abroad, she decided she would go to her parental house rather than her in-laws' house. But still, she went to her in-laws' house and maintained the decorum, while everyone around was still playing tantrums. The reason for everything, she realized, was that she was not earning, and that was creating a mess. She was busy safeguarding and strengthening the relationship, but everyone around was busy counting money.

Within a few days, Chandan got a job with his previous employer and started working at less than 50%-60% of the salary that he was earning abroad. This was the option left to Chandan to ensure the livelihood went on, as for his father's treatment, he had spent enough money out of pocket.

After coming back from abroad, Covid came back in India again. Kashika started her freelance gig from home. Kashika conceived a child for the second time, but she met with the miscarriage story again. Post marriage, she was going through life's difficult chapter.

Within a few days, Chandan was diagnosed with Covid, and she was busy taking care of him. Nobody was taking admission in hospitals those days. She was requesting everyone. There was a ray of hope when one known doctor gave the admission and gave Chandan drip treatment.

Chandan's sister was living nearby, so she was visiting the hospital often to meet him. After two days, all of a sudden, after an X-ray, the doctor told Kashika to take him home at 9 p.m. Chandan's condition was not good, but he was not willing to extend Chandan's stay in the hospital.

She was left with no option. She took him home and realized his condition was worsening more. For two to three days, he had not slept, and even she was accompanying him in the hospital too. After Kashika took him home, she realized she needed more support, so she called her brother for support.

In the meantime, she realized they needed an oxygen cylinder. While booking the cylinder, the guy asked her to transfer Rs. 7.5K, and they paid it via UPI. Later, he again asked to repeat the transaction for a similar amount one more time. They realized that it was a fraud.

Then she booked the ambulance at 4 p.m. The ambulance guy came along with a stretcher at 6 p.m. and said, "We will not touch the patient. You need to bring him down yourself altogether."

Kashika and Ravi took him downstairs to the ambulance, and they went to the emergency department of a renowned hospital in Delhi. The nurse came and said to the patient, "You need to be on a ventilator."

Kashika lost herself in the statement and stayed strong. Chandan said, "I will wait. You please take me inside."

But nothing worked out. Kashika, Chandan, and Ravi were seeing and waiting for a dead body to come outside so that they would take Chandan inside, but nothing happened. They waited for 45 minutes to one hour at the hospital. The ambulance guy did not want to wait. They released the ambulance, and now they were searching for a nearby hospital to take Chandan's admission.

Somebody said, "Go to Akshardham. They are taking admission of Covid patients."

But nothing was working out, as they did not have the setup ready at that point in time. All three of them were roaming around Delhi in cabs, and then they reached home at 9 p.m. after roaming around. There was no admission in private hospitals around.

One of Chandan's friends said, "Take him to the government hospital."

They visited a government hospital at 11 p.m. One of Kashika's cousins, Akshat, also came along to the hospitals, and then they all were roaming with him in his car, where hospital attendants asked, "With whose reference have you come along?"

Kashika was finding herself so helpless because she was juggling a lot of things: a paralytic patient at home, a Covid patient, her health condition, her brother, and logistics around. Taking him from one hospital to the next hospital was the paramount subject matter.

By the time they were reaching home, it was 4 a.m. the next day. Somehow, they were able to manage the oxygen cylinder through Kashika's uncle. Later, they got the oxygen mask and pipe, but unfortunately, nobody knew how to make it available to the patient.

Then they called the nearby local hospital to support the matter. Akshat and Ravi went to the nearby hospital to bring the compounder home. By the time the compounder reached their home, Chandan had turned blue. He said he was no more.

Kashika, Ravi, and Akshat were shattered.

She called the nearby neighbours to help take him downstairs so that she could take him to emergency in the nearby hospital, but nobody came around. She faced the real-time cruelty of her life in the people around.

Then Chandan's parents came along into his room. Prior to this, the couple was keeping distance because of his father's situation. When the parents came, his father was rubbing his hand, his mother was kissing him to wake him up, and Kashika was rubbing his feet.

At 4:45 or 5, Chandan passed away and left a big void and vacuum. It was difficult for Kashika to deal with the aftermath. She needed to be strong, and in parallel, she had lost her spouse. She was juggling between the two, but though she was managing the show, she was living post the major loss.

Now she was left with new Covid patients. Her mother-in-law and her brother were both diagnosed with Covid. Her brother went home to take care of his parents and wife. She was left alone with the aftermath of what had happened in her life. She ensured her mother-in-law's treatment remained intact and managed the death ritual in parallel.

Nobody was bothered about how she was surviving for the last 15 days. Her life had turned upside down. First, she had lost the kid and was in recovery mode when Chandan was diagnosed with Covid, and in the past 10 days, she had lost Chandan too.

Within a month, they realized that the doctor through whom they had got some reference admission for Chandan was asked to certify that he was giving Covid treatment. To their utter surprise, he denied outrightly that he was giving Covid treatment. He said he was just giving him mere drip treatment. The reference was given through Kashika's sister-in-law, so she could not even blame them.

In between, Kashika lodged an FIR for the oxygen cylinder fraud. The local police station asked her to visit the police station. She fought with them, saying, "There is a demise at home, and you want me to visit the police station?"

She wrote an application and sent it to them. Then it got registered, and the matter went to the CBI Cell.

She realized through these incidents that you need to have some approach or known people's reference readily available in life because, for the common man, there is no relief at all, and services are majorly available for those who can answer, "With whose reference have you come along?"

During one month, the in-laws figured out that she was stable, grounded, and had not lost herself in the process. She stood strong for everyone, but nobody was there for her. Even her sister-in-law ran away when she realized her mother was diagnosed as a Covid patient.

Post one month, her sister-in-law came and said to Kashika, "How long will you stay here? You need to move on."

Post the 12-day ritual, Chandan's father's birthday was there. He wanted her to celebrate, and she said no. To Kashika's utter surprise, later, after two to three months, she realized her in-laws were celebrating their birthdays and anniversary post their dear son's demise.

Chandan left term insurance for Kashika so that she would take care of the family, but here the family did not want her to stay with them, in fact. They wanted to transfer all the money, but they did not want to keep the daughter-in-law with them.

There came a time when the sister-in-law situation happened two to three times in the house. Kashika decided she would not stay in the in-laws' house. Then the in-laws made her feel cruel, as they wanted the entire money he had left for Kashika.

She said, "I will place my things on the table, but whatever has come in your name, you put that on the table."

Nobody agreed on this approach, and later they all said, "She took away the money and left this house."

Kashika lived a cruel, ungrateful, and disgusting life post marriage, where money was everything. Because of the negligence of the government, she lost her spouse, and she is fighting the battle with the government, unknown to anyone in the house, by enrolling in the government pension scheme.

"Why are government services not available to the common man? Why do you need references to get admission in the hospital? Why are there reservations?"

Throughout her life, she had been taught that in life post marriage, she could live her dream. From this story, we can see a girl's life before and after marriage is "the grass is greener" on the other side, as nobody wanted to own the girl, and everyone wanted to make her feel burdened.

Kashika is now realizing that she fought unknown battles and struggles, or took responsibilities of other people, wherein she lost herself in the process. She is going through the vicious cycle of injustice in her surroundings.

Post six months, she left her in-laws' house and paid Rs. 10K to her in-laws every month. She said, "I was willing to give you all, but you did not want to keep me around. So I know you are foodies. I will bear your foodie things around every month."

She paid for 1.8 years, and then her father-in-law passed away with a heart attack. She was told, "You are responsible for his demise."

One relative passed the remark, "If you come, what do you want from us now?"

Post Chandan's demise, she worked on her new venture, which she started post Covid. There she met a guy, and he said, "We will marry soon."

Kashika said, "I need some time to heal, as a lot of things have happened to me during this time."

The guy she was working with became Kashika's pillar of strength for one year and was pursuing her again and again. After one year, when they met, they both got physical and had a vow that in order to settle down, they needed to settle their respective careers first professionally.

To her utter surprise, after a few days, she came across the information from his office that he was already married and recently blessed with a girl child. This broke Kashika into pieces again, as with the hope that marriage was in the cards, she became physical with him.

She still does not know whether his colleagues rumoured about him, whether the information stands true, or whether his office guys played some games. The irony was that he was not making any efforts or speaking to Kashika at all and was taking her for granted.

She, till date, does not know whether the guy actually loved her, but his actions were not aligned. But she loved him from her core. Her future plans went for a toss as she was going through back-to-back mishaps in her life. She realized she was going through the rough phase of life.

That's how she lost him too.

She found herself lost in the world of the people who mattered to her at one time. Now she is scared to trust anyone because of her experiences. Everyone she meets starts judging her and passing some remarks. She sometimes curses herself and asks why she is still alive in this cruel world.

What She Felt as a Human Being

1. What she feels does not matter to anyone around. She does not know what kind of world she is surviving in. Throughout this entire process, she remained kind, loyal, and patient with everyone, but nobody even thought about how she was feeling.

2. She has the money, but money cannot buy happiness. What she wanted was the unity of the house, but it broke her into pieces. Unfortunately, nobody realized it.

3. She feels that the government was responsible for the indispensable loss of her spouse, as she tried her best till his last rites.

4. To avail government schemes, you have to come with someone's approach, then they will attend you.

5. Nobody wanted to take any accountability excluding her. Then she did not know where to go. This is the scenario with the common man or woman. How will one survive in this cruel world?

6. Ultimately, for everything, she was found wrong. She was blamed by everyone and made to feel alone. She was managing the entire show with her tone low, while everyone around her was telling her that she was too slow and becoming a burden for them too high. She was judged for everything after that, lost her pieces, and is still surviving because Chandan said he would come back to complete their story.

7. She is still finding her lost pieces, which were taken away by fate, her spouse, and the maze of life with depression.

8. She searched for him throughout these years in people, but found only a few traits. Nothing matches him, as a human is not replaceable at all in this world.

9. She is still finding the lost pieces of him and herself in strangers and unknowns, which were taken away by fate.

10. She does not know whether she is fighting for a cause. So much injustice happened with her. She feels so lost.

What She Wanted

From Government

1. She wanted government services to be made available to all citizens without any reservations or approach.

2. Now, she wanted to utilize a percentage of the term insurance for a cause for "Women Empowerment" or "Women Stay," as pre and post marriage, every woman goes through distress at some time in her life. Though her intentions are clear, with a vision to create a safe place for women in pre and post marriage scenarios - where women have nowhere to go, where women have nowhere to go.

3. She wanted her future pension to be waived, as well as no penalty to be levied on her, as per rules, the government punishes people if found guilty. Though here, the government itself is at fault, and Kashika is coming forth to ensure this situation or circumstances will not be replicated to anyone in the future.

From the World

1. She wanted everyone to understand she is human too, and she has emotions too. Let her be human, not become a robot for everyone around her. Showing emotions is not vulnerability; it is the act of being human.

2. Her struggles and endless fights are keeping her alive to fight for justice for herself so that nobody around her will go through a similar experience in this world.

3. She wanted a judgment and label-free world for every woman at home, office, and in the friend circle.

4. She wanted to live a life with dignity, strength, and courage showcased by her in every step of her tumultuous journey.

Kashika's Realizations

1. She realized maybe, since the beginning, destiny was not in sync with this marriage because she had fought a lot of causes to maintain her kindness, dignity, peace, and grace, although what she got was labeling from her loved ones and friends, which scattered her into many pieces.

2. At her in-laws', Kashika understood that jealousy and insecurity had killed the family harmony overall.

3. She realized her silence had cost her too much throughout the experiences, and now she does not want to suppress her VOICE - being a woman.

4. She also realized, "Being real in the reels world has cost her near and dear relations."

5. She is working in life with INTENTION, but people around her are saying, "She is a TENSION and needs ATTENTION."

6. She realized that she had survived a lot of storms, and now she needed to create life on her own terms.

7. She realized and invested this void phase of life in herself to create a better version, far from everyone's sight. Isolation is considered sometimes abandonment, or if used wisely, can work as a blessing in disguise.

8. Sometimes, she wonders how she has managed all these matters being a woman. Maybe she has the almighty's hands with her - she is a real fighter, relentless warrior, and survivor, where she thinks, "HER VOICE MATTERS" in the world.

9. She realized, "Truth is always sour and bitter, but she had enough poured herself in every relation every day a little more."

Her fights are still going on. What do you think? Who is responsible for her situation - people, government, circumstances, Kashika herself, or fate/destiny? Please share your point of view in the comments section below.